Finding a Surrogate Mother as a Gay Couple in Canada

Surrogacy is defined as a form of assisted reproductive technology where a woman who is called the surrogate agrees contractually to get pregnant, carry a baby to term and deliver for another individual or a couple that is termed the intended parent or parents respectively. After the delivery of the baby, the intended parents legally assume parenthood and take responsibility for it. Surrogacy is a complex process with the biggest challenge being finding a worthy surrogate that can carry a successful pregnancy. The treatment requires a lot of preparation to properly execute it. Finding a surrogate mother as a gay couple in Canada can be stressful. 

What is involved?

It also requires a lot of consultations by the intended parents, extensive counselling and medical fitness testing of both the surrogate and the intended parents, and some legal guidance and advice. One of the most crucial decisions the intended parents must make during the whole surrogacy process in Canada is finding a surrogate mother. Many intended parents choose to work with someone that they are already familiar with like a close friend or family member. Others do not have the option and will face a task that will require time and effort before they can find a worthy candidate. The first step in the search for a surrogate is deciding on using the help of an agency for the search or not. 

What requirements does Canada require of a surrogate mother?

Finding a surrogate mother as a gay couple in Canada can be tedious, but you must understand the requirements. The surrogacy process in Canada is altruistic, and the prerequisites for becoming a surrogate mother are strict. They include the following: 

• The woman needs to be in the age range of 21 to 45. 
• She had to be a mother of one or more children. 
• She needs to have finished a psychological and medical assessment. 
• She cannot have any health issues that would put her or the unborn child in danger during pregnancy. 
• She cannot have abused drugs or alcohol in the past. 
• In Canada, surrogacy is an altruistic practice, which means that the surrogate receives no compensation for her services other than what is needed to cover the costs of the pregnancy.

Finding a surrogate mother as a gay couple with an agency in Canada

In the case that the intended parents do not already know a suitable surrogate, an agency can help find already screened women who have been approved to carry surrogate pregnancies. A representative from the agency will also work with the couple to find out their goals and get a surrogate that closely matches their plans. The agency professionals will identify the possible candidates based on the budget of the couple, the desire of the couple for contact and involvement in the process, the surrogate’s experience as well as other factors. An intended parent profile may also be created for the couple and presented to future surrogate matches. This is to enable them to get to know who the couple is and what their goals are. 

Another important requirement for the gay couple is the agency’s screening requirements which must be completed before they can start waiting to be matched. The screening varies from agency to agency, but an in-home assessment may be in the requirements. Once the couple has satisfied all of the agency’s requirements, they will be introduced to the prospective surrogate profiles. The agency will also simultaneously provide the couple’s profile to surrogate candidates that their goals match with the couple’s. If the surrogate and the intended parents reciprocate interest in each other, they are provided an opportunity by the agency to meet each other and discuss the surrogacy in more detail. When both parties are ready to move forward with the surrogacy, an official match is then made, and both parties can then start the process of drafting legal contracts.

Benefits of finding surrogates with an agency

These surrogacy organizations are professionals at matching and arranging surrogates. The intended parents who choose to work with them enjoy many benefits, some of which are:

• Agencies screen prospective candidates extensively to protect all parties involved in the surrogacy process.
• Based on the requirements of both parties, the surrogacy objectives, and other factors, the databases of the agencies are designed to pair parents with surrogacy opportunities.
• The agencies also offer other services beneficial to the surrogacy journey, like education and support that both the intended parents and the surrogates need during the process.

What are the disadvantages of finding a surrogate with an agency?

While working with surrogacy agencies may be convenient and effective, there are also some challenges to consider. Some of them include:

• The cost associated with the agency’s matching services may inflate the overall budget of the couple.
• The surrogacy assumes the responsibility of screening candidates and mediating contact between the potential matches, and this can potentially make the process less personal and intimate than independent surrogacy.
• The agency factor may also come in, which is why it is important to do thorough research on the best agency as not all surrogacy agencies are competent.

Finding a Surrogate Mother as a Gay Couple without an Agency in Canada

Many couples choose to work with an already identified surrogate in an independent surrogacy arrangement. These are often close friends or relations of the intended parents. However, in the case that the couple does not have an already identified person and needs a surrogate, there are some things that they must consider in their search. The search can look different depending on the exact situation of the couple, but they may be able to find a surrogate using any of the following methods:

• Social networks
• Personal connections
• Attorney referrals
• Surrogate finder networks

As they are looking for a surrogate without an agency, they will be responsible for many steps in the matching and planning process that would otherwise be handled by a surrogacy agency. Some things that they would be responsible for include:

• Finding a prospective surrogate
• Screening the surrogate to ensure that they are a good match
• Finding legal counsels to complete the necessary legal requirements and work
• Coordinate with the fertility clinic to perform all the necessary medical procedures.
• Find counselling and support.

Advantages of finding a surrogate without an agency 

Some of the benefits of finding a surrogate without an agency include:

• The overall budget of the surrogacy may be lower as there are no agency fees to pay
• This independent matching may feel more personal and hands-on for some families as the meetings are not mediated by some agency-provided surrogacy professional
• Legal and medical professionals may be sufficient to guide the couple through the surrogacy process.

Some challenges of finding a surrogate without an agency 

While finding a surrogate independently is a valid option for some intended parents, there are also some disadvantages to consider before embarking on that task. Some of them include:

• There may be significantly longer wait times, and more money will be spent on the search as the couple is not as effective in the search as more established agencies’ matching services.
• The couple may be more susceptible to fraud and other uncomfortable situations as there are no laid down screening requirements.
• The matching and screening are also more difficult as well as other surrogacy services.
• The emotional support that the intended parents and the surrogate may need may not be adequate in independent surrogacy.